Mastering the Art of Talk Romance Like Zoomer: Fifty-One Ultra-Specific Phrases for Romance, Sex and Questionable Conduct

The current period represents a ten-year milestone since the phrase “ghosting” hit the mainstream. Initially, the idea that someone could suddenly stop communication with a lover without any notice seemed like the height of rudeness. Our innocence was charming. In the decade since, navigating toward a mate has only become more confounding – an frequently fruitless endeavor in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by social media slang.

Zoomers, a demographic who matured during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread challenge on the rights of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex environment than their millennial predecessors could ever fathom. And so their dating glossary has grown longer and more bizarre, with terms like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” testing the limits of your sanity.

What follows is a comprehensive glossary to the words Zoomers is using to talk about romance, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To echo one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the end of this list you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it lacks “ideological catfishing”.

A

Authenticity – For gen Z, romance's ultimate goal is presenting as your real, unfiltered self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A TikTok trend loosely based on a test developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your date's reply is inquisitive or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while oozing enigma and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Chair theory – This signifies seeking out someone who aids you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a seat for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A date where two people bond while doing chores, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do low-cost romance in a inflation-era world.

Crashing out – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a crush or split, spilling all of your (unrequited) feelings.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 1980s young urban professional excess, it refers to couples who choose against parenthood to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Open communication – The antithesis of being guarded: utilizing communication, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Red flags – Personal habits indicating a prospective partner is not right. Such as calling their former partners unstable, subpar tipping habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions affirm your choice to pursue a mate. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal screen time, having a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe specific, largely harmless quirks. Such as being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their wallet, paying rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the second world war or physical media hoarding or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who hates the same things or people that you do (few things fosters intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A musical group many young men listens to.

Zombie-ing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of ghosting.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon boyfriend who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online subculture of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, purposefully postponing orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A trend describing many women's increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An ideal championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and happily domestic, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own aside from satisfying her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and usually everyday repulsions that instantly shut down any feelings of attraction.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an extremely sweet display.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ideal partner: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, teachers or therapists.

K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers prefer fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy realistic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more important than it is. Also known as {